This One Pigeon

The pigeon made mistakes.

—Frida Kahlo, The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait

When I wasn’t working or fucking my boyfriend I was either standing in a queue or walking around the space between Reading Jail and Jackson’s Corner. I never reluctantly stood in a queue. The space between Reading Jail and Jackson’s corner has the mall with the cash point, the chocolate shop where my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend works, a pub that brews really good mead, and a church (Reading is too small for a Cathedral). Reading Jail has a very high wall. A friend of my boyfriend once said the space between Reading Jail and Jackson’s Corner was the best place to go if you felt like climbing the church tower with a sniper rifle and a sack lunch. I have a lot of days where I feel like that, especially when I’m not working, queueing, or fucking. There are a lot of pigeons in that space. A lot of those pigeons don’t have all their toes. I saw this one pigeon that had no feet at all but walked amazingly well on its little ankle bones. There are sharp metal spikes on the ledges of buildings. When a pigeon tries to land it loses its toes. But it’s not inhumane because when the pigeons try to land they can still fly away.

Photo source.

Here and Away Chapter 6


He walked through the wood. When he thought about what he was doing he couldn’t think of his feet moving or his muscles pulling his bones along or the joints pumping like pistons in an organic engine. He was not good at vehicle anatomy. Instead, he thought about the ground. The territory of his footsteps, the path he cut. Roots and tubers twisted underneath as he past.

It was spring but the last fall still covered the ground with sweet smelling decay. The dry, grey leaves crackled and flaked apart as he stepped, his foot like a giant mouth munching a flaky croissant.

That’s what he thought about as he walked through the wood. Croissants. Food. Where the next meal would come from. That was one of those unanswerable questions until fate saw fit to throw a morsel across his path by way of a dumpster, abandoned campsite, or garbage bag thrown onto the road from the hand of some careless hick. He appreciated those careless hicks, even if tossed out taco bell was disappointing and unfulfilling.

Continue reading “Here and Away Chapter 6”

Here and Away Chapter 5

Chapter 5: AWAY

Clocks and birds screamed the morning awake. As the last remnants of night slunk across the tree stained horizon like a cat dragging a crow home, the visitors of The Rose Motel woke reluctantly to pay homage to the approaching sun god with flushing toilets and squeezing toothpaste tubes.

At 4AM, Away drank his coffee in the lobby. The night clerk had brewed a fresh carafe an hour before and he had commandeered the entire thing. The local newspaper lamented three missing persons. Away skipped over their vague disappearances for Garfield. Away loved Garfield. And lasagna. And naps. But he had a nagging suspicion as the coffee drained from the carafe that, in this strange place, the latter would be in short supply.

Continue reading “Here and Away Chapter 5”

Here and Away Chapters 0-4

Here and Away is my 2016 Nanowrimo manuscript. I’ve been releasing it, chapter by chapter, on Wattpad but I decided I wanted to put it up here as well because I want my story to be accessible to everyone who doesn’t have a Wattpad account.

The first four chapters are below and I will post one chapter every week until the story is finished. This is book 1 in a three book cycle.

I hope you enjoy 🙂 Thanks for reading!

Once upon a time a heart broke in two. This heart was not an ordinary heart and when the pieces flew apart the world died. One piece, the Bright Jewel Named Fire, scarred the land with flame and plague. The other piece, the Black Stone, sat cold and alone in the darkness of the void, begging to be found.

Here is a half-harpy, half-human changeling vagabond with a story to tell, a story of loss, betrayal, and death. A story that haunts his dreams and turns his world into a waking nightmare. Away is a cait sidhe, cat faerie, with his own troubled past, inner demons, and deep desires. He is also the only creature in the universe willing to listen to Here’s story.

What lurks there in the shadows among the trees?

Once upon a time two brothers survived the apocalypse. Spider and Fly live in the ruined world of Here’s story. Spider always laughed at the rumors of the Black Stone and locked away his deepest dreams in order to survive the devastation wrought by the Bright Jewel Named Fire. But his brother wants to save the world. Fly has heard the rumors too and he believes in them with all his heart. With his reluctant brother in tow, Fly is determined to find the Black Stone and set all the wrong things right again. Success means resurrecting everything they have held dear and lost, failure means paying the ultimate price.

Follow the curve in the road and you will come to The Rose Motel. Beyond and away, in the deep and the dark, waits a kaleidoscopic reality seldom seen wandering in the sunlight. Venture off the beaten path into unexplored territories where evil enjoys both wholesome and unsavory forms, where happy endings are fought for or—more often than not—stolen, and the nightmares lurking in the shadows will give you more than fear or pain.

As Here’s story unfolds, mysterious forces turn the peaceful woodland surrounding The Rose Motel into a desiccated wasteland. With the help of a few unexpected friends, Here and Away may triumph—as good things always should—over evil.

Deep in the shadows, the Heart of the Forest waits to be put back together.

Continue reading “Here and Away Chapters 0-4”

Why I can’t write Part 2

So I just had an epiphany.

I was writing an email to a friend, I like to let her know what I’m working on even though sometimes I feel quite intrusive because she’s made of awesome and does all the awesome things (more on confidence and conversations with other creatives later). I wrote sometimes I get discouraged or find things hard because a project feels too big for me to handle. And then I thought about that.

Havoc’s Moon, my work in progress, feels too big for me to handle.

In a way, that’s kinda cool. I feel like I just got a positive diagnosis or something because I’ve identified something I can work with.

I’m not going to shorten my book. One of the things that made writing Past Life, my sci-fi novella, fun was its smallness. So I just need to figure out how to translate that into a longer thing.

I’ve got way more characters in The Slaughter Chronicles and many plot lines. Whenever I think about my story I feel like I’m looking at a huge world map, my scope is so wide I can’t see any of the topography clearly.

So now I’m going to work on zooming in.