the cat is still alive and we are together, still breathing.
i want to delete everything and start over
make something waterproof
and strong as guitar strings
(not too strong)
bonds need to break
to make energy, the season needs
i am not waiting, i am running towards it. i’m so
pre-emptive i rush right past it
i can’t breathe
i want to buy a new purse, new
sinus cavities, new
i want to spend all my money on sleep
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Happy International Literacy Day!
Visit literacyworldwide.org and check out their Literacy Today and Literacy Daily articles. There are some really heartwarming stories about teachers empowering students by encouraging creativity.
In 2017 I became fascinated by the inner workings of the medical field. Not just because I made a MASSIVE career change but because the human body and how society moves around and interacts with the human body has always been extremely interesting.
I am also fascinated by true crime stories. So the Dr. Death Podcast by Wondery is an absolutely amazing and chilling listen. I won’t spoil anything for you and I strongly encourage you to give it a try but be sure to steel yourself; the subject matter is very heavy and not family friendly.
For those of you who are interested in grammar drama, this article was published in the New York Times a few months ago and it made me shake my head in dismay. I had no idea there were so many people casing shade on the Em-dash.
Read The Em Dash Divides by Kate Mooney here.
One of my grad school mentors, Bhanu Kapil, keeps a blog. This is an interview between Bhanu and her grandmother, who was a child in 1947 during the Partition of India in which 14 million people were displaced and between 200,000 and 2 million were killed (so says Wikipedia). This year is the 72nd anniversary.
A poem about how hard girlhood is: The mother finds her own wild, lost beginnings deep within the body of her daughter by Mary Jean Chan
Photo Credit: The New York Times, Leigh Wells
I’ve been a long-time supporter of Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge and at the end of August, Brady Liger fell ill to a fungal infection. If you can donate something, anything at all, please consider supporting their efforts. Your donations can help pay for medical expenses, food, and bigger enclosures for the animals.
And here are two writerly things I’m going to try to take advantage of this September. The first is my local library’s Banned Books Writing Contest and the second is an international open call for submissions from the Black Library and the Warhammer 40K Universe.
Musings on coffee and other things from stoneronarollercoaster
Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl
“Farewell” is on my tongue by Paulus Silentarius, translated by William Roger Paton
A Play-by-Play of Queer Seduction by Marisa Crane on Chantarelle’s Notebook
The Past by Ralph Waldo Emerson
[we are] by Quentin Baker
Vesuvius by Noah Eli Gordon
Photo source: turpentinecreek.org
Days I Didn’t Write:
1…I wrote 1 new poem *YAY*
4 sent out!
Zero accepted or rejected.
So again, I did not do as much writing as I wanted to do this month (I really hope this isn’t going to be a trend). But I have a very good reason: I have started school again. After earning a BA and an MFA I’m going back to school to earn a BS in Laboratory Science. Chemistry is WAY too intense for it’s own good but it’s going to be literally ALL of my future job so I need to know it inside out. *sigh*
I did, however, focus on more of my poetry this month so it wasn’t all a waste*.
Not an Exit vol. 1 is coming along, I’m finalizing the table of contents and adding and subtracting stories. Three of the stories I want to include have themes of unrequited love or doomed romance. The rest of the stories are dystopian/post-apocalyptic. I’m still deciding whether or not I want to include everything in vol. 1 or make vol. 1 just about dystopia and make vol. 2 just about romance.
I haven’t added to any of The Slaughter Chronicles or The Heart of the Forest Cycle Drafts but I have done lots of brainstorming and have some awesome new artwork from Robin E. Vuchnick in the works.
I’m also putting thoughts towards writing another poetry collection that I will self-publish in 2021 or 2022 depending on how many poems I want in it. Lupercalia has about 50 ( I think…is it terrible that I don’t know how many poems are in my own poetry collection? ) so I’d like to publish something with 75. For me, 75 is a magic number when it comes to poetry. But I also have a chapbook sized idea that I want to focus on as well and I haven’t decided if that should be a separate thing or part of a bigger collection.
I think the most important thing I can take away from August is to stop being so fucking indecisive and write my fucking books.
*Note: none of it is a waste. You do what you can WHEN you can. My goal is to write every day because I want to, not because someone else told me I needed to. Always go at your own pace and don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t met your goals yet.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
I was using twitter for a while to keep track of all the videos and articles I wanted to refer back to or keep as reference material. That hasn’t really worked so I’m going to try posting stuff here. I don’t know if I want to call it a “weekly roundup” or make a “favorite things” list.
This might turn into a weekly thing…or a biweekly thing…or a one off thing. Hopefully not, I don’t know.
Firstly, anyone needing any kind of photograph or artwork for ANY REASON AT ALL needs to check out Unsplash. A writer friend turned me on to it and all I can say is THANK YOU! This site is the best!
Secondly, Leopard Seals are the shit. Leopard Seals are my new favorite.
Just in case you haven’t seen this yet: Wolf Totem by The Hu (Mongolian Folk Metal).
If you’re a writer and you love jewelry you need to check out LionessElise on Etsy. I have four of her pendants and I absolutely love her work.
I make jewelry and shiny things that make people want to write.–Lioness
Arsenal 4 by Cedar Sigo.
1915: The Trenches by Conrad Aiken.
Central Visayan Mountain Range, Philippines 1945 by Angela Peñaredondo.
Photo by NOAA on Unsplash
I want a drink. I want to drink until I die. (Not for dying’s sake but because drinking is the only thing I want to do. The. Only. Thing.) 10 bottles of bourbon lined up in a neat little row, a hotel room with a balcony that overlooks the river. In another version of reality I jump. In this one I don’t. And I have to live with that. The wanting and the not having.
The sun is a giant ball of fire that will kill us all if we don’t destroy ourselves (or something else happens) first. I’m okay with the sun. The sun and I are friends but not in a weird way (I don’t want to marry the sun).
Something (you don’t have to believe in god) out there has a plan for you. See, you’re not dead yet.
I love the ocean. The ocean is also terrifying.
Gravity works. For now.
Every morning my cats demand to be fed. Every morning their demands are met.
I know for sure that it might rain.
I know for sure that there are people out there who love you (even if you haven’t met them yet).
Things go. Whether or not they go the way you want them to is debatable.
Telling stories is the best thing in the world.
This came out of watching Anne Lamott’s TED Talk, 12 truths I learned from life and writing, July 13, 2017.
Photo by Sime Basioli on Unsplash
5 things I can see:
My books (yeah I know, more than 5…whatever)
Mr. J’s guitar
Rubber ducks from the arcade claw machine
4 things I can touch:
The quilt Suzie made for me
My coffee mug
3 things I can hear:
SJ Tucker singing (recording, not live…I wish *sigh* miss you girl!)
Is that rain?
2 things I can smell:
Slightly stale air
Damp (aka humidity)
1 thing I can taste:
This is an anxiety reduction technique. Read more about it here.
Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash